You live, you learn.

“Little Red Corvette” comes on shuffle.

Me: I don’t even know what a lot of the words mean to this song. How can she have a pocket full of horses?

Tom: Trojans.

Me: oooooooooh!

It took me until I was 40yo to get that!

He then proceeded to explain almost all the rest of the words. He’s so smuckin’ fart.

Overheard at Asbee’s Asylum – Home of the Cozy White Coats

(Scene: All Asbee’s are watching a DVD together. And no one is abusing each other. Go figure.)

young son, Mika: Mom, what’s ‘ironic’ mean?

Dory: *thinks about it a moment* Well, it’s kind of hard to explain. … It’s like, when you’re working at your job, and there’s a “No Smoking” sign on the wall when you take your cigarette break.

Mika: *completely confused and bewildered*

Tom: Son, it’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Mika: You are both. SO. WEIRD.

Dory: My laptop’s open. Dictionary.com is your friend.

Tom: While you’re at it, look up ‘weird’ and see if our picture is up there.

(End Scene.)

Our children are going to be SO warped.

(FYI… I used to use the name The Dinosaur, or Dino, for the younger son. 1- He’s no longer obsessed with dinosaurs and memorizing entire encyclopedias on The Jurassic Period. 2- I also gave the sons weird names so people can’t google them later and find them here. So I’ll just misspell their names instead from now on. Plus, I never use our real last name on here because I don’t want The GirlBeater googling back here.)

Quite possibly the most boring title in the history of blogging: Merry Christmas!

I had a little meltdown Tuesday, and it rather inconveniently placed itself smack in the middle of the time where I pick up my boys from school. When I pulled up I was all snuffly and right away I said, “You guys didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just having myself a little meltdown. It’ll pass.”

Just exactly then, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” came on the radio.

I busted out bawling again.

Rocky put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Mom, this is, like, the stupidest song ever.”

Laughing through crying helps.

• • • • • •

I invite you into my bathroom this morning, right after our shower. (Yes, HunkyDory showers together. Save water; shower with a friend!).

Just, like, in your brain, blur stuff out where The Sim’s game does.

Christmas carols are playing on the iHome.

Hunky: [singing along with ‘White Christmas] IIIIII’m screaming at. A. Whiiiiiiite Supremisiiiiiiiist. Just like the ones I… [stops singing abruptly] There’s a chance I might’ve had too much coffee.

Dory: *blink* *blink blink* I got nothin‘, dude.

Hunky: *wandering off and twirling his hands* [sing-song voice] Tooooo Muuuuuch Caaaawwwffffffeeeeee!

Yeah, that’s how we do what we do when we do what we do.