In which Jenny Lawson comes to Cedar Rapids and I give her a hug and knitted reproductive systems.

On 7/8/2016, Tom, my friends and I got to meet our favorite author. We were almost last in line (on purpose; see also: anxiety issues) and got to get our books signed, and talk with Jenny. Tom got his Rory card signed and I gave Jenny the Knitted Knaughties. If you don’t know about these, you’ll have to put that in my search box and enjoy a really good story about Jenny matchmaking me (in Iowa) and Louise (in New Zealand; see also: possible place to move if Trump becomes President, because if so, I’m Audi, dude) to come up with a knitted vagina and penis to show women where to find their clitoris in a totally non-skeevy way. Seriously; some women have to be shown. My sons learned a lot from this pair, and to their future wives, I say, “You. Are. Welcome.”

That was kind of a long stream of consciousness type of ramble, and I blame my phone. So I’ll just tack on the pictures and call it good. 

Yesterday, I worked from 10am-11pm on my website. I went to bed and couldn't sleep so I got back up and worked from 12am-3:30am. Still couldn't sleep until around 6am. I've gotten ZILCH done today (I did manage to shower, brush my teeth, and put on clean clothes) and I'm almost okay with that.
Jenny doing a totally kick-ass reading

Jenny and Tom
Jenny and Tom

Jenny accepting the adoption of the Knitted Knaughties
Jenny accepting the adoption of the Knitted Knaughties

Jenny and I and the Knitted Knaughties
Jenny and I and the Knitted Knaughties
Jenny combining a couple of her gifts so things could get even weirder, if possible
Jenny combining a couple of her gifts so things could get even weirder, if possible
Jenny and Kenzie  conversing intently
Jenny and Kenzie conversing intently
Jenny and Kenzie
Jenny and Kenzie

And they all checked one thing off their bucket list and lived happily ever after. Amen.

Vacation to The Wilderness with the Ricechex

In the car on the way… all bouncing off the walls in happy anticipation of good times on the horizon

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Rose sent me a pic of her kids snoozing in the back… Tom said, point at me and take it on 3. No families were killed in a fiery death in the making of this image

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Me and my love

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Mr. Ricechex, ready for his close up

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The Mens. Step back, ladies, they’re all ours

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My love, doing what he does best, which is TALK

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Mr. Ricechex, doing what he does best, which is look smolderingly handsome

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This man whom I love achingly

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Man-child, who frequently makes me want to tear out my hair and set it on fire on an altar to my ancestor-mothers

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This woman, who seems to understand how my heart beats before I do

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Mrs. Ricechex, my eventual Mexico wife

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The One Where We Went To Michigan. Again. Now with added contest at the end!

Once upon a time last week, we drove to Michigan to visit my mommy and The Seester. Kizzle and I loaded up the boys and the dog in a VERY small Stratus; one that got smaller and smaller as the drive went on. Hunky drove out on the bike later because of *groan* work and school.

We stayed at my sister’s. Mom came over and we grilled and talked and drank beer. At one point, Dino went and sat on Seester’s lap and she leaned into him and deliberately burped in his ear. He turned around to look at her, and completely dead-pan said, “That was HAWT”. I laughed so hard I almost peed. That’s my boy. We’re SO proud.

My mommy and Elli’s mommy 

Then we went out for a couple drinks.
I keesd mai seester!

 

Gratuitious Drunk Bitch shot… did somebody goose the seester?!

 

Then we rode horses…
Mah Kizzle riding Foxy

 

Me riding Slim. He’s over 16 hands… it’s a looong way to the ground!

 

Rocky riding Slim

 

Slim’s got one dark eye and one watch eye

 

Horse hoof trimmings are considered
a delicacy among discerning canines everywhere

 

Deer are nothing but 500 pound RATS.

 

And then Elli discovered the frogs in the swamp.
She scared a batch of them and when they all jumped at once,
she went nuts trying to catch them all and jumped withers-deep into the swamp.
She smelled like mud plus pond scum plus horse poop with a side of roadkill.
We had to hose her ass down before she could come in the house!

 

Da Beer. Kizzle trying to turn my dog into an alcoholic.
Don’t worry, it was only a few drops in the bottom.

 

Sunset from Mom’s backyard

 

Bonfire was complete with beer, shootin’ the shit,
toasted marshmallows, and laughing so hard we almost peed.
Actually, I believe a couple of the gents present actually did.

 


What’d Smoky say?!

Click that picture up there and add a comment to tell me what you’d caption this photo!

Entries accepted until 07/25/2008 9pmCST– Winner will be announced 07/26/2008
Prize will be something from the bottom of my purse, perhaps a half pack of Fruit Sensations gum! Meaningful dialogue regarding whether the pack is half-empty or half-full is optional. But technically moot, as facts of math will prove half has nothing to do with it, because it’s almost empty.

The whole set is here. There’s some really funny ones, including one where Smoky winked at me which was fairly disturbing. I added some amusing notes and descriptions to many of them (there’s an hour of my life I’ll never get back). Feel free to add a comment to any and let me know what you think of my mad picture takin’ skillz. Flickr comments are almost as exciting to me as blog post comments. *nudge nudge elbow poke wink wink*

A refresher on buzzing like a bee through a set…

 

And a good time was had by all. The End. *curtain falls*