If I thought it’d make you love me I’d put soup on a stick.*

As promised…

Let the Everything On A Stick Exhibition (With Other Highlights On The Side) commence! *triumphant fanfare*

Ok, we start out with the grandfather of all food on a stick,
HOT DOG ON A STICK and of course CORN HAND DIPPED DOGS [on a stick]

CHEESE ON-A-STICK

Not to be confused with CAJUN CHEEZE ON A STICK

NOW I’ve seen it all… Chicken Lips?! My mom said that’s what’s in hot dogs!
But evidently, you can get them straight by themselves
with a side of [insert gagging sound fx HERE]
And now apparently WINGS ARE FOR SISSIES but I didn’t get that memo.

DEEP FRIED PINEAPPLE ON A STICK (the NEW HAWAIIAN DELIGHT)

Hunky got to see the Butter Statues and got all verklempt

NAKED CORNDOGS. Don’t worry it’s Rated “G”. It’s a Family Fair!
Whew. *uncovers innocent children’s eyes*

If you ROLL YOUR OWN BEESWAX CANDLE,
does that mean you are, in fact, minding your own beeswax?

PORK CHOP ON A STICK
with bonus audience participation!

Bratwurst Corn Brats on a stick!

Oh, my. Another PORK CHOP ON A STICK
but I did have to give them bonus points for Beauty of Signage

It’s a TwoFer! COCONUT SHRIMP ON A STICK and CHICKEN ON A STICK!

Not to be confused with CAJUN CHICKEN ON A STICK

When Funnel Cakes Go Bad
AKA… Funnel Cake + 10 hours in the sun = Brains with Assorted Sweet Toppings

DEEP FRIED ASSORTED CONFECTIONS ON A STICK
ok, so it doesn’t explicitly SAY, “On A Stick” but there’s a GRAPHIC of these items on a stick, so it totally counts.

The kids actually had to stop and sit to rest their aching feets.
Yeah, I picked up an extra daughter at the fair. She was a Fair Special.

While we’re at intermission with our feets up, I need to tell you a lovely story about a Snake and some wooden froggies.

So you know there’s lots of little (and huge) booths to shop at the fair. Well, one guy there was sitting under an umbrella with old-fashioned clothes on and bare feet. On the table in front of him, he had an assortment of wooden frogs and played them by running the stick up their backs. People kept coming up and playing with them, and when you got a few of these guys going, it sounded just like frogs singing in a pond. It reminded me of when I was growing up in the country, and in the spring and summer I’d have my room windows wide open and fall asleep to the frogs singing in the pond a mere fifty-ish feet away.

We had quite a conversation about how I could hear the smallest and biggest of the frogs, but the middle sized ones, not so well. We were on seriously limited funds, but I wanted one of these guys in like, the worst way. So after I bought the smallest one, I asked him if he had a business card so I could order the biggest one from him later. He said he was already out of cards, but he would give me his information. He took my paper bag and wrote this out on it, and then put the biggest frog inside the bag and said, “Now, you just send me a check for that, because I know you will.” I was so shocked! I thanked him and gave him a hug and was on my way with my two wooden froggy pals from a very trusting vendor named Snake.

I’m going to pay his kindness forward and say this: If you are as smitten with these guys and want to order some from him, email me and I’ll email you back his info. There’s five sizes, and the smallest is $5 and the largest is $25 and the price just rises $5 with each size. I’m going to send him a check for mine, plus order three more for my mom, dad, and sister. Mom still gets to hear froggies LIVE ON STAGE POND every night, but my sister and dad might like these to remind them of falling asleep to The Froggy Lullaby. Here’s what these guys sound like…

Anywaaaay, back at the ranch fair…

COTTON CANDY and CARAMEL APPLES
are traditionally items served on a stick although the signage does not explicitly specify.
But they totally count.

VEGGIE CORNDOG [on a stick]

GIANT SAUSAGE ON A STICK
Hunky had a bad headache, otherwise, I would have a very crude remark to share with you here.

And for the PeeAce Day Lah Reezeest-Ahnz
(make sure the voice in your head reading this does a really bad French accent),
I give you…
SALAD ON A STICK

Thus concludes Dory And Family Go To The Fair And See Many Unexpected Food Items On A Stick And/Or Deep Fried: A Documentary.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude. Offering baskets are on your way out. Now seeking grants and/or donations for my next documentary project.

*It’s a real song. (ignore the annoying accompanying video. The song is the important part. I love Brak.

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