So, a rabbi and a bear walk into a bar…

Today when I picked up the boys from school, Rocky got into the car very upset and told me a classmate had been calling him names. I asked him what she called him, thinking I’d hear the standard “buttmunch” or perhaps “fart knocker.” Then I took a moment to feel a little bit guilty that HunkyDory watched a tad too much Beavis & Butthead when Rocky was a toddler. I sheepishly remembered the day we pulled up the back of his t-shirt collar to the top of his head and taught him to say, “I am Cornholio!” and run around the living room in circles. Good times, good times. *blinks* Wait, what? Ah, yes.

He said, “She called me a Jew, and I’m not a Jew, I’m a Christian. I tried to tell her they’re different, but she just kept yelling over me ‘Jew Jew Jew Jew’!”

Seriously?! WTH is this kid’s parents teaching her?!

I had a talk with Rocky to make sure that we were on the same page- calling someone a Jew is not an insult but it can get you in some deep, deep trouble, etc. etc. When I got home, I sent WFGT (Wonderful Fifth Grade Teacher to the uninitiated) an email.

I think somebody needs to have a little talk with XXXX. Rocky said she was calling him a Jew like it was an insult. 1 – Rocky is a Christian, not a Jew. 2 – Calling someone a Jew is not an insult. 3 – Jews are good people. 4 – Calling someone a Jew in a sneery voice could possibly be construed as racist and could potentially get her punched in the mouth by a less tolerant person.


Was that ok, emailing the teacher, or am I ‘That Parent’? I know that I would want to know if Rocky did something like that.

A couple weeks ago, WFGT asked if it would be OK if Rocky talked to the kids in the classroom about his ADHD and AS. She thought it would help if his classmates knew what he had, and hopefully they could better understand him and be more tolerant. I said that was fine with me if it was fine with him. Today, Rocky said he and WFGT had a discussion with the class where he disclosed that he has ADHD and AS, and what that’s like for him. When I asked him how that went, he sadly said “the other kids are being even more bossy with me”.

Faced with these two incidents that were causing my child such distress, the Mama Bear in me woke up from hibernation with a craving for Little Kid and Dumplings. Hearing Rocky’s troubles makes me want to waddle into that classroom, emit a deafening, hair-raising, soul-piercing Mama Bear roar, and then make a couple of those kids my first meal after my long winter’s nap.

But I realize that I’ve got to let him learn to advocate for himself, so I suppose I’ll just go back to my cave and hit the snooze button for another six weeks.


5:20am this morning.
My loving husband has gotten up with me. He’s either really brave or really stupid. Let’s go with brave.
I pull what I think is a green shirt out of the closet.

Hunky: Are you gonna wear that?
Dory: Um, yeah.
Hunky: If you’re thinking of wearing green for St. Patrick’s Day, that ain’t green.
Dory: It is too green!
Hunky: It’s really more of a teal or perhaps aquamarine.
Dory: Well, it’s in the green family.
Hunky: A raccoon is in the bear family, but that doesn’t make it a bear, now, does it?
Dory: You’re just a great big girl, arncha?


Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude. Hawsum.

9 thoughts on “So, a rabbi and a bear walk into a bar…

  1. i gotta say, that’s the first dude i’ve heard tell that even knows that aquamarine and teal exist…

    As for the classmate, yeah, you really gotta wonder what some kids parents teach them. I mean *honestly*.

  2. I think you did the exact right thing emailing the teacher. When I taught, I always wanted to know EVERYTHING that was going on in my class.

    And I can’t decide whether to be jealous or concerned that your husband knows about teal AND aquamarine.

  3. Tom’s GAY, dude. Only gay men know that there is an aquamarine. hahaha, I laughed so hard when I read this, I spit coffee everywhere. So now, Tom owes me for an “ecru” tank top.

    Poor Rocky. Little girls are such bitches….

  4. Tom’s not gay…
    He’s just not very smart. Everyone knows that whatever your wife puts on looks great and does not make any part of her look fat.

  5. I friggin HATE green … so didn’t in any way shape or form wear green on st Pat’s Day! And good for you for wearing your GREEN shirt. Oh and “HI”! found you via another nutter’s blog! A nice nutter! (Miss Anne Thorpe)

  6. Time to sign up for kiddie kickboxing. Seriously. We had a kid in school who was, upon reflection, undoubtedly ADHD and a little “different” in some still unidentifiable way. He took up tae kwon do and became a new kid. Confident, athletic and probably burned off a hell of a lot of extra energy. I’m sure it also didn’t hurt that, you know, he learned to defend himself when he had to.

    Or not. Just sayin.

    PS – Tom is not gay but possibly roots for both teams. *wink*

  7. LOL love your comment note!

    Poor Rocky. You definately did the right thing in letting the teacher know what was happening. I’d want to know if I was “the spawn’s” parent. My son’s school went through a stage where calling someone “gay” was the in insult. Hopefully it is just an unthoughtful phase in the class and not something she/he has picked up at home.

    If things get bad keep the teacher informed. Make her a proxy mummy-bear. 🙂 I still worry about mine and they’re 12 and 15!

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