H: We should do it.
D: We don’t have time to do it.
H: Why not?
D: We’ve gotta get in and out of the shower, get kids in and out of the shower, and find clothes for the kids.
H: I thought you were gonna do that last night.
D: Yeah, well, that didn’t go quite as well as I would’ve hoped.
H: Why, what happened?
D: I had 102 unread items in Google Reader, and they weren’t just going to read themselves now, were they?
H: *puts his index finger one inch from my right nostril*
D: What the hell are you doing?
H: What do you think I’m doing?
D: Are you almost sticking your finger up my nose?
H: I am indeed. *finger hasn’t moved*
D: What if I exhaled strongly and snotted on you?
H: Do you really want to know what I’d do if you exhaled strongly and snotted on me?
D: You’d stick your snotty finger in my mouth, wouldn’t you?
H: Damn skippy. *finally removes finger*
It’s like a diamond commercial. Kinda makes ya cry, doesn’t it?
But I’d totally marry him all over again. Goof ball.
Pray for us, genuflect, burp the rosary, bite off some chicken feet and swirl in Lourdes water, light a goat with a snake around his neck on fire, dip your voodoo doll in koolaid or whatever it is you crazy kids do. We have to go to a funeral today, and I’m seriously hoping not to generate any new embarrassing family anecdotes that tend to be retold repeatedly. Like at my gramma’s funeral when Rocky was 2 and after the Pastor finished the final prayer, Rocky stated loudly, “Good Job!” and started clapping.