100 things about Dory

MelodyAnn said I hafta read Fun Home, by Alison Bechdel. I obliged and went to the library to pick it up. I started reading it last night, and it makes me feel a little bit dumb. I’m used to opening a book and either reading it with no problem, or realizing quickly that I am way out of my league. In some parts, I recognize the words but can’t comprehend the meaning. Kinda like “The marauding sloth erectile perpetuity vicariously qualmish.” So I back the truck up and try again; I attempt to focus on the words and search for synonyms to make the sentence make sense; all the while my brain fights me, screaming “Let’s go, let’sgo, letsgoletsgoletsgoletsgo!” Thank God it’s only like that in spots.

MelodyAnn also tagged me for the 4 meme, but I just can’t come up with any new answers. So I saw another meme that was called 100 things about me. I’ll attempt that one. 100 is a really really big number when it comes to little ol’ me, so I reserve the right to get help from Hunky and/or make shit up. If I resort to that, I’ll be real obvious. Maybe. *evil grin*

Without further ado, 100 things about me…

  1. God rawks.
  2. I treat others the way I would like to be treated.
  3. I am a great wife.
  4. I am a good mother.
  5. I am a good girlfriend.
  6. I love my Jack Russell Terrier more than any other dog I’ve ever had in my life.
  7. I am a graphic artist.
  8. I am on number 8, and I am already stalled out.
  9. I like woodworking.
  10. I like machine quilting.
  11. I like reading a lot of different kinds of literature. Love most Chick Lit, Dry Comedies (David Sedaris rawks), Drama/Relationship, Mystery, How-To books, Self-help, Spiritual growth… No Romance, Clive Cussler-esque, Sci-fi, or Dungeons and Dragons and Majic. *wrinkles nose* Icky.
  12. Hunky says I have to put, “I like sex with Hunky.”
  13. Well, I do like sex with Hunky. 12 years later and it’s even better. Married sex rawks.
  14. I am a cheesehead.
  15. I am frustrated because I want to learn ASL faster.
  16. I am really good in Photoshop.
  17. I am pretty ok with Illustrator.
  18. I am best in InDesign.
  19. I want to be a great photographer.
  20. I like iced tea in the summer and coffee in the winter.
  21. I like iced tea straight. Or just a little raspberry added.
  22. I like coffee all doctored up with cream and sugar, hot cocoa powder, and/or a shot of Starbucks Raspberry.
  23. My favorite dinner is steak, medium rare, and a loaded baked potato.
  24. It makes me indescribably happy when I see all my DVDs in perfect alphabetical order.
  25. The best part of buying a DVD is putting it in the right spot on the shelf in perfect alphabetical order.
  26. I have literally thousands of pictures that I would like to get sorted and scan the negatives.
  27. I like Dr. James Dobson. Iamnot does not. And that’s ok.
  28. I really like Joyce Meyer. I wish that I could have dinner with her. And coffee and dessert. And I bet she would get tired of talking to me before I got tired of talking to her. I bet she would have to say, “Oh, for the love… it’s 3am, and woman, you just need to shut up already.”
  29. My birthday is December 19. Having a birthday that close to Christmas sucks ass.
  30. I do not like Tom Brady. Tombrady=bedwetter.
  31. I am a PartyLite consultant but I haven’t had a party in months because I hate begging people to have parties.
  32. I am beyond frustrated and charging full steam ahead towards starting to doubt my talent and skills in graphic design because I can’t get a damn job.
  33. I just indulged in a two minute pity party after that last one. I think I’m over it.
  34. I can write upside down.
  35. I got my first pony when I was 18 months old. Her name was Snowball. I don’t remember her.
  36. My next pony I got when I just turned 7. His name was Alcapony. My mom named him that because he could escape from anywhere.
  37. I grew up on a farm. We had 22 acres off a small lake. One winter night after the lake froze over, Alcapony took one of our mares and three of the neighbor’s horses on little jaunt across the lake and my dad had to go out at 2am and bring them all home and deliver the neighbor’s horses back to him. That was the first time I heard my dad drop the F-bomb.
  38. My cousin, who was so much older than me that I had to call her aunt, inherited her mother’s (my mom’s sister) thoroughbred horse farm. I spent quite a bit of time over there, including several different Kentucky Derby parties. My family was a staunch proponent of the whole “children should be seen and not heard” idea.
  39. I could have split up that last one, but the first sentence and the third sentence both really weren’t about me. And the rules are 100 things about me, not 100 things about me and the also the history so you understand the thing about me better. I like rules. Rules bring structure. Rules make choices less overwhelming. Rules are the yellow lines in the road.
  40. I am not above bending the rules. I drive 10 over everywhere I go.
  41. I first learned to drive when I was about 13 years old. We had an old 1980ish white Ford Ranger, and it had stick shift. It took my Dad hours and hours to teach me how to shift properly. I haven’t owned a stick shift since then. I can still drive one if you’re going to insist, but I’m going to resent every minute of it.
  42. I showed horses and home ec projects in 4H from age 8-17. I also showed sheep and chickens, but just one year each to try it out and that was about enough for me. Sheep are exceptionally stupid, and exceedingly dirty.
  43. I can imitate the clucking of a hen well enough to fool a chicken.
  44. I also had ducks and geese. The ducks weren’t really good for much except pooping everywhere and giving us ginormous eggs to color on Easter. The geese hated the little green truck and would peck its tires from the moment it hit the driveway until about five minutes after it was parked.
  45. To teach me about money, for several years I sold eggs. My folks bought the chicks and the feed up until we separated the roosters from the hens. Then the roosters were butchered, destined for the freezer, and it was then my responsibility to buy the feed. I fed and watered them, and collected and washed eggs morning and night. I would carton them up, then I’d harness my pony to the cart and take the eggs to all the neighbors and sell them for 75 cents a dozen.
  46. We had goats too, which I loved. Goats are cute and friendly but they poop raisins everywhere. The Seester was allergic to milk so Mom milked the nanny goat morning and night and we all drank the goat’s milk. Goat’s milk makes Vitamin D milk taste like water. It’s really rich.
  47. I had a few ponies and a couple horses over the years.
  48. My favorite pony was Alcapony. He was white with a few black spots on his rear and the back of his legs. By the time he died, all his spots fell off.
  49. My favorite horse was Missy. She was a buckskin. She liked Pepsi and gummi bears. She also knew when our names were called in a class and she’d walk up to get our ribbon without even a cue from me. Later, we bred her to my mom’s paint stud, and we got Andy, who turned out tobiano with gold spots. I think that was The Seester’s favorite horse, but I’m not sure.
  50. I’m halfway done! Yay me!
  51. I rode my horse whenever I could. We would take off after lunch and might not come home until sundown. If we cantered on the blacktop, my mom could hear it from the house and would ground us from our horses for a week, which was worse than torture.
  52. When my parents divorced after 19 years of marriage, I chose to go live in town with Dad, and The Seester stayed out on the farm with Mom.
  53. The first time I came back out to the farm for visitation with Mom, I discovered that she sold my horse without telling me first, and I was heartbroken. She told me since I wasn’t there to help with chores or take care of the barn, then I didn’t deserve to have her. She was probably right. But I was crushed.
  54. I didn’t even have video games until I was around 14. It was an Odyssey.
  55. We didn’t have a computer until a little while after the Commodore 64 came out. I remember storing programs on cassette tapes, and writing programs in Basic.
  56. I’m going to go fold a couple loads of laundry and come back later, because I feel reeeeally guilty for sitting here in front of the computer all day.
  57. I just got a lot done! Made dinner, made my Shameless Comment Whore Button, went downtown and visited Hunky at the sleep out (I’ll get a pic up shortly), folded a couple loads of clothes, and here I am again!
  58. I have sat here for about 20 minutes, trying to think of something to write.
  59. I have to stop any caffeine intake around 4pm or I’ll find myself staring at the ceiling all night long, terribly, terribly awake.
  60. I’m trying to cut down on Mt. Dew. I used to drink about 36 ounces a day, and now I only drink 12.
  61. I met Hunky in a French college class. I got an A that semester.
  62. The next semester we were dating. I got a D.
  63. I don’t remember hardly any French.
  64. I took Spanish all through High School.
  65. I don’t remember much Spanish either.
  66. I was not popular all through school. I don’t think I was a loser. Just quiet.
  67. I was in band from 6th to 12th grade.
  68. Almost all of my friends were in band.
  69. I played the flute.
  70. One semester in college, I played the piccolo.
  71. I wish I had a piccolo.
  72. I can still remember a three octave chromatic scale. It’s like my fingers remember because if I think about it too hard, I can’t do it.
  73. I was in Job’s Daughters from age 11-20.
  74. That experience gave me some of the best moments I have of growing up.
  75. I still have four “sisters” not including The Seester on my IM contact list.
  76. I like Barbershop quartet music. My dad was a Barbershopper.
  77. My dad took me to a lot of plays growing up. Our local theatre was Tibbits Opera House. It had a ghost, but I never saw it.
  78. I like almost any musical.
  79. My favorite musical is Cats. I saw it at Hancher Auditorium in 1994.
  80. Next favorite is Phantom, then Fiddler, then Les Miz.
  81. I like popcorn done the old-fashioned way best.
  82. I like staying home and renting a movie with a few friends better than going to the bar with a group.
  83. I love playing cards. Euchre and Spades are my favorite.
  84. I played Spades at lunch every work day for two years with my dad and his friends.
  85. I won twice.
  86. I’m claustrophobic.
  87. I’m not afraid of heights.
  88. I used to go fishing with my dad and catch blue gill. We’d clean ’em and eat ’em when they hadn’t even been dead a half hour. That’s fresh. It was the best eatin’ I ever had.
  89. Being in a big group of people makes me freak out a little.
  90. We’ve had to leave gatherings because I felt panic attack coming.
  91. I hate meeting new people.
  92. It takes a while to be able to speechread a person. Some are just impossible to speechread.
  93. As frustrated as I am with my progress in learning sign, I can tell that it is a very natural way to communicate. It’s not anything like learning a foreign language. Although many colleges do give you foreign language credit for taking sign.
  94. I went to college and ended up with a 1.6. After I was diagnosed with ADD and learned coping strategies and got medication balanced, I went back to college and got my AA with a 3.492. And that was even though I started with that lousy 1.6 from the first time ten years before that. I was extremely disappointed that I missed getting honors cords by .008.
  95. I just had to do that on a calculator to make sure it was right. Math is most assuredly not my forte.
  96. However, English is. I’m a great proofreader. I spell well, and I am good with grammar and punctuation.
  97. I really enjoy making people laugh.
  98. I miss my box-sleepin’ husband already, and I haven’t even gone to bed yet.
  99. I can’t believe it took me so long to come up with 100 things about me.
  100. I attempt to be like Jesus every single day.
I’m not gonna tag anybody, because this took a loooong time. But do it anyway. Do it. Do it, do it, doitdoitdoitdoit. Come on, everybody’s doing it! Wow, I just had a bad flashback to an ABC After School Special. Anyway, I bet you know a lot more about me than you ever thought you would. And I didn’t even tell you about how I cheated the hearing test to be an MP in the Army! Took ’em ten months to figure it out.

Here’s my box-sleepin’ husband!
Thanks to everyone that pledged…
you’re supporting a very good cause.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude.

2 thoughts on “100 things about Dory

  1. You remember WAY MORE than I ever can imagine remembering. I could not have brought up that many things from my life. yikes. Great job with yout writing though. I can actually “hear” you speaking while I read. -T-

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