< rant > No < / rant > in sight.

Elli followed me out to the garage for a smoke and hopped right up there, hoping for a ride. She knows the difference between “bike ride” and “car ride.” Say one or the other, she’ll head for the right vehicle. One time (at band camp… oh, I couldn’t resist) at a park with some other biker buddies we made the mistake of saying, “Yeah, Elli really likes a bike ride.” and she took off like someone shot her out of a cannon for the motorcycles that were parked across the street. By the time I ran over there, she had already hopped up onto the nearest bike and was ready for her bike ride.

Anyway… that picture was this morning before The Crap Sandwich Guy made a delivery.

Did you know that in the state of Iowa, a four person family consisting of two children, one adult on unemployment benefits, and one adult working 20 hours a week and going to school full time do not qualify for any food assistance or medical assistance? That’s right, folks; because I’m living in the lap of luxury here, hobnobbing with the rich and famous stupid, and charging such frivolities as gas and toilet paper while one of my bi-weekly paychecks doesn’t even make a full mortgage payment.
< / sarcasm >

Since Hunky got a part-time job, we now make too much money, $78 too much a month, to continue receiving food assistance and medicaid for the boys effective 11/01/07. Smug, ignorant, clueless rat bastards. I’d like to see how well they would handle living making $78 too much to qualify for assistance.

AND our phones got shut off today.

Not my best day ever.

I’m so frickin’ frustrated. I’m trying to find a job; checking job sites daily, sending resumes, following up. Hunkster is trying to help out by working part-time in addition to full-time school and homework. I guess I was brought up with the theory that if you work hard and do your best, you’ll have a successful life. You do good, you get good, ya know? And I’ve been doing good and not getting good for so friggin’ long now. It’s just one damn thing after another. Me getting laid off, me going back to school, graduating, getting a job in my field; then Hunk gets laid off, goes back to school. Since 2003, we have had only 10 weeks out of four years that both of us were employed full-time simultaneously. I am so sick and friggin’ tired of being broke, dammit! It’s not like I’m asking to win the frickin’ lottery; all I want is to be able to pay my bills and buy our necessities and maybe even enough to go out to eat together once a week. And it’s not like we’re trying to live beyond our means; we used a medical settlement to pay off our car and our credit card debt. My student loans are in forbearance until 12/31/07. We have cable and internet, but it’s just the basic ABC, NBC, CBS package and the slow cable internet (which the Hunkster needs to do his homework and let’s be honest, you turn off my Internet and you might as well sign me into rehab) and I’m pretty sure it’s the cheapest package they offer. We have the cell phones but no landline. All I’m trying to pay here is my mortgage, my utilities, and whatever we need to live on (food, clothes, etc.). But the state says we can’t get any assistance so my hubby can get his schooling to be able to get a better paying job that will benefit our family. But hey, if he wants to give up his part-time job, they can help us. If we divorced, hey, they can back up the money truck right into our driveway, all kinds of food assistance and medicaid and more school money. But since we’re being all married and ambitious and shit, then they can’t help us. For. the. love. people… where is the logic in that?!

Well, they can take our food assistance and my boys’ medicaid and they can shove it right up their asses. I have my happy marriage, my happy boys, and they can’t take that away.


Ew. That was so cliche I almost threw up a little. Ew, ew, ew. I’m so embarrassed. I’m sorry… forgive me? Moving on.

In other news, I talked with my Voc Rehab guy at the unemployment office, and he is going to try to get me a new hearing aid. The testing they did a couple weeks ago showed that I need two now. This may be kind of stupid, but I’m not ready to admit that I need two hearing aids. I’m not gonna turn down one though. I’ve “outgrown” the existing one. It’s just not working as well anymore. With the new aid, I still won’t be able to talk on the phone, but it might help me speechread more effectively. It’ll buy me more time anyway.
Also, the Voc Rehab guy says that he may be able to help me set up self-employment. There’s money out there to help people with disabilities get their freelance on! There’s money for technical equipment, software, etc. to get you going, but you have to come up with some kind of a match to the money. I would be the first one he’s set up in Iowa. But this whole thing would be quite an extensive process. It’s certainly not going to happen next week. He also said he heard another caseworker talking about a graphic artist position I might be able to apply for.

You know what? I’m so boring, I’m putting myself to sleep. I’m gonna quit while I’m behind. I should probably do us both a favor and hit the delete button, but I won’t, because I’m just a brat like that. Misery loves company, ya know. I’ll do better next time, promise.

Rip it, roll it, and punch it, dude.

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