If only I could get paid to procrastinate.

Wow, I’ve been SO productive and gotten SO much done. NOT.

My last day in hell, er, at work, was Friday. It wasn’t bad as far as last days go, I guess. We usually are given 30 minute lunches and I took an hour and twenty minutes to have lunch with my almost-ex lead designer. What were they going to do, fire me?!?!

Also, I was reminded twice during the day to remember I needed to pick up the kids at the Boys and Girls Club after work. Guess what I forgot to do? Yes, that’s right, I FORGOT MY CHILDREN. I was talking to my friend on the way home, one of the people that had reminded me to pick up my kids once already. I was jabbering away and she said, “Wait wait, so have you picked up the kids yet?”
Me:
*silence*
*blink*
*pause*
*blink blink*
*insert choice expletive here*
“No, I’m turning around now.”
I am THIS CLOSE to getting my Parent License rescinded. Although I’m pretty sure that I could just get another one from inside a Cracker Jack box. They have some sucky-butt prizes in there nowadays.

Sooooo then I had a three day holiday weekend to get through. No problemo, dude. Friday night, The Girlfriend Brigade came over to grill and drink, not necessarily in that order. Saturday…. something happened, I forget what but I was still in my pajamas in the late afternoon and the grill was again engaged for supper. Sunday, we went to church and then The Hunk and I went over to Sam’s and bought a 50″ Plasma TV. You know, because we were bored or something. Monday, put up the gargantuan by-product of boredom. THIS was quite the production. Several hours and a frightening number of leftover parts later, it was successfully wall mounted and my living room was a battlefield of styrofoam, torn plastic bags that could WARNING choke children and small animals, dust bunnies bigger (and meaner) than my snotty cheerleader bitch cat, and enough new user guides and warranty information to make a tree-hugging hippie dissolve into racking sobs.

So Tuesday was my first day in the real world as an unemployed graphic designer. I had already promised myself that I would completely veg out the first day and do everything I possibly could to do absolutely nothing. So. I watched my new big TV while I cleaned up the living room after installation of said new big TV and then went to Deaf dinner night and chatted for quite awhile. Then Fiona and I composed an email to send about our little informal Friday Night Sign Class for June. Coolio. Then I made my To Do List because Wednesday was going to be A Very Productive Day.
Here was my to do list:
1. Take the kids to school.
2. Apply for unemployment benefits.
3. Out of Strattera. Call to get more.
4. Make the mailing list for my resume so I could mail merge my cover letters.
5. Get my e-portfolio organized to put onto CD-R for inclusion with resume and cover letter.
6. Design the label and CD holder for the e-portfolio.
7. Do two loads of laundry.
8. Call Sprint and get them to let me out of the contract with no penalty by playing the HoH card.
9. Get a SideKick ordered.
7. Read War and Peace.
8. Resolve that pesky world hunger problem.

Here’s what I actually accomplished (and I use that term extremely loosely):
1. Wake up with raging headache from not having taken Strattera for two days. Complete with a side of nausea. Feeling like a zombie is just the bonus plan, baby.
2. At the last minute, The Rockstar announces that he has checked his email and his teacher has said Yes, it would be a great day for him to bring his dog for show and tell (BTW when you’re ten, it’s called “Community Circle” *rolls eyes*)
3. Took the children AND the dog to school.
4. Called to get more Strattera.
5. Spent over an hour with Sprint (via relay). Amazingly, I kind of got what I was after. I wanted to just cancel them period with no penalty. But they let me out of the contract with no penalty for my line, but not The Hunk’s line. Close enough, I suppose. So we’re keeping that for emergencies on the cheapest plan possible ($20/month) until the contract is up. Heck, we can leave it here at the house when we leave the kids here alone (which, since we’re not complete morons, we do not do for more than an hour at a time.)
6. Realized that sure, I could get a sidekick with data only plan and The Hunk could get a sidekick with data and voice so he could text with me and talk with everyone else, but the sidekick is a T-Mobile exclusive and the only voice service they have in our area is, well, permanent ROAMING status. NOT good. Intermittantly bitched about this via IM.
7. Decided to abandon that project for the time being and went downtown to see The Hunk In Action. (At his place of internship, not the bedroom, you sicky. Get your mind out of the gutter. Sheesh.)
8. Picked up the kids from school.
9. Finally gave into the Zombie Syndrome and passed out on the couch in complete and utter exhaustion for an hour.
10. Made dinner.
11. After attaining needed sustenance, went back to the drawing board on the text/cell deal and after much research, have decided to go to Cingular tomorrow and check them out.
12. Applied for unemployment – No.
13. Mailing list – Nope.
14. CD and holder etc – Not even.
15. Laundry – Um, still no.
16. War and Peace – Maybe some other day. Or decade. Whichever comes last.
17. World Hunger – Yes, it sucks, but was not resolved by me today. Maybe tomorrow. We’ll see.
18. Blogged about my remarkable ineffectivity and serious procrastination issues.
19. Made this list have lots more numbers to try to make myself feel just a little better about being a total disappointment in the productivity department.

Tomorrow starts with a clean slate, kids. Thank God.

Rip it Roll it and Punch it, doooood.