Classes are over.
I have a final tomorrow, Monday, and Wednesday… and then I’m DONE.
I can’t believe it. I’m trying to wrap my brain around it and it just won’t fit.
This has been my life for the last 18 months. I go to school every day, I do my homework almost every night, and I live from “A” to “A”.
I’m terrified of what’s next. Absolutely panic-stricken. Sending out cold resumes. And if I’m lucky, interviews. Rejection. Unless it’s Acceptance, in which case I have to worry if it’s the right job and if it’s the right choice. I’m petrified. I am no longer a student. I am searching to become gainfully employed. Who am I now?
On the upside, I walked out of class yesterday for the last time. I walked out 4 hours later than scheduled because I had a deadline to meet and the project went bad, and I had a good cry, then I rescued it and turned it in on time. I felt oddly disconcerted walking out those doors knowing that would be the last time I would be leaving class. I got home, drank a beer, smoked a cigarette (which by the way tasted like ASS of course, WHY do I always think that will make me feel better?!), and relaxed the rest of the evening. Tom took the kids this morning and I slept in until 9:20. Then I watched ER on TNT until 11am. I haven’t done that since I was laid off and waiting for school to start!
When I graduated from high school, my dad bought me a beautiful new dress to wear under my gown. For my college graduation, I have a beautiful new pair of bright celtic green chuck taylor hi-tops! And my friend KW has some bright sunshine yellow chuck taylor low-tops!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go upstairs and clean. Mom, Pat, and my sissie are gonna be here in 8 days!!! I’m SO excited!
Current Music: Who Am I-Casting Crowns-Casting Crowns
Current Mood: contemplative