Anger Management Issues

Oh. My. God.

I HATE CAL. I hate her with a raw, seething, hate that would cause me to experience great elation if I could punch her in the nose and feel it break beneath my fist.

She has NEVER paid me on time. Not even ONCE. and I just went on my merry way, letting her walk all over me. The first time she went a week of ignoring my calls and VM, I told her that there was nothing more in the world than I hated more than being ignored. She called me crying, and I told her don’t ever fucking ignore me again, CAL. When you ignore your problems, they do not go away. They get bigger. When you put me off and stick your head in the sand, it makes me more and more angry. So then she apologizes profusely, and immediately does it AGAIN. I hate her so fucking much. I want to punch her, then kick her in the fucking stomach. How could she do this to me??? How does someone screw someone over SO FUCKING BIG, and manage to sleep at night??? Here’s what hurts the most. I trusted her. When I swore up and down that I was going to be so more careful, I let her walk all over me. Ever since we got back from St Louis, she quit treating me like a friend should. That’s when she started dodging my calls and ignoring my voicemails. Then when I added the locks and forced her to contact me, she cried and apologized and grovelled, and it was all a fucking act. And then, get this folks! I let her do it AGAIN!!! Another week and a half and she says “I’ll pay you on tuesday” and tuesday comes and she doesn’t, and then “I’ll come home Friday night and give you your money” and then doesn’t and then ignores me for another week. Then I go down to penguin’s where she works and make her talk to me. I tell her she’s treating me wrong and I’m hurt and she’s jeopardizing our friendship. “I had no idea” she says. What the FUCK EVVVERRRR. But hey now, she’s not crying, she’s not apologizing, and she’s giving me some sob story about how she’s been hiding bcus she MIGHT not be able to have children SOMEDAY. THEN she ignores me for ANOTHER week and a half and on Sunday I got pissed enough to write her a letter telling her to pay her bill off and then move out. I called her expecting her to send me to voicemail as usual, and WONDER OF WONDERS, she actually answers her phone. I asked her where she was. She said she was heading over to OUR house to get a couple things and she had money for me. I told her, “I’m on my way over to MY house right now, do not leave until you see me.” I gave her the letter, and she started to read it, and she goes upstairs, comes back down, AND LIKE NOTHING HAS JUST HAPPENED, says, “Can I borrow your broom to sweep in my dad’s house?” I’m like, “I guess so.” and she goes to the door with the broom and she says, “I’ll bring you your broom back tonight. I’ll give you a holler when I’m done.” and LEAVES. *shakes head in disbelief* WHAT THE FUCK?!?! does her sticking-her-head-in-the-sand deal know NO BOUNDS?!?! I bet she started reading it, and it was unpleasant, so she quit reading it and threw it away, because anytime anything is uncomfortable or unpleasant, she pretends it doesn’t exist. So here’s a HUGE surprise, folks… SHE DIDN’T BRING MY BROOM BACK OR CALL ME LIKE SHE SAID SHE WOULD. I know, I know, I almost had a heart attack and died from that surprise. So I called her and she sent me to VM and I said, “you SAID you’d bring my broom back tonight” and then left a vm on monday, I said, “you know the thing that hurts the most is you are willing to let our friendship crash and burn. we’ve been friends for seven years, and that means NOTHING to you. you are willing to hurt me this bad, why?” So, no return call, so tuesday night at 9:40pm, I left her this VM, “CAL, you blatently, obviously, clearly don’t give a shit about this situation. If you do not make face-to-face contact with me within 24 hours, I’m going to have to assume that you’re abandoning this place as residence along with all of your personal belongings.” and I hung up. Not long now until her time’s up. What I know will happen is that she listened to about 2 seconds of the voicemail, and immediately deleted it, bcus that felt UNPLEASANT. I can’t wait until she shows up probably a month from now asking for her stuff. “It’s gone, CAL. I warned you, and you ignored me. Funny how ignoring things doesn’t make them go away. It gets WORSE. what a fucking concept. Too bad you haven’t learned that yet.” Then today I get the cable bill, and her check bounced for that too. Why did I have the nerve to act surprised? Why am I so mad? Oh… My… God… I’m so mad. I’m mad MAD mad MAD mad MMMAAADDD. STUPID… FUCKING… BITCH. I HATE HATE HATE HHHHAAAATTTTEEEE her.

Current Music: TV chattering on inanely in the background and noisy boys
Current Mood: angry