here it is thursday. MW shut us off on monday night. I think I’m upset mostly bcus of the rejection. the other couple times we ended up not speaking it was bcus I had said something like, “should we not interact then?” expecting him to say, “no, we’re fine” and instead he was like, “maybe that’d be best”. but this time, it was his idea. and he said he was gonna tell me on friday but didn’t want to ruin my weekend in michigan. I s’pose that was nice of him, but I’m annoyed by that for some reason. it’s upsetting to see him come and go on my jabber list. i’ve just got to get over that. I have to remember how much simpler my life is going to be to figure out without him in the equation. it’s more fair to tom that he not be in the picture. it’s better for me also to be strong on my own. I don’t need him there for me, but he was nice to rest on. he’s a great listener. but sure not a great talker. all evasive or giving me answers he thinks I want to hear. and if we were together, it wouldn’t take long for him to find someone else to be with. and not only would there be an ex-wife to deal with, but an ex-girlfriend too, who works with him. what the hell was I thinking even getting messed up in that! DUH! I was getting all detached from him, then monday night he had to pull that shit, and we always want what we can’t have. I need to keep working on detaching myself from him. I need to keep reminding myself of “regularly. not quite daily”. That works REALLY well.

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