My sons are off school this week, and I was just sure that they would wake me up at the butt-crack of dawn with their fighting. At 9am, they brought me breakfast in bed. I was pleasantly surprised with their choice; even they can’t screw up juice and Pop-Tarts.
I thought I’d end up spending hours on the computer and feel terrible about myself for not getting anything accomplished. But I got on, answered a couple emails, got off, and folded and put away 10 loads of laundry.
Then I went out to get the mail, and found a $427 check from a utility company that had been billing me incorrectly.
Then I washed the kitchen floor. I found a diamond earring I thought I had lost forever.
Then I checked my email and got an offer for an interview.
Then I got a text for an actual offer for a graphic designer job located ten minutes from my house.
Then I got an email from the same person I got the interview offer from, saying that they didn’t even need me to come in, they wanted to offer me the job, period.
Then I got another text from the person who initially offered me the job, that they had heard about the other job offer, and they would pay me double the salary they had suggested initially.
Then I brought the empty trash can in from the curb and found a $100 bill on the ground.
Then Annie Leibowitz drove into my driveway and stepped out of her limo to give me an autographed copy of her new book. After she left, I opened it, and inside she had inscribed, “To Dory, the most promising photographer in her generation. Look forward to working with you soon. Annie.”
Then Ed McMahon showed up with balloons to tell me we had won $1 million in the Publisher’s Clearing House Sweepstakes. I was so excited, I farted and a basket of kittens, chicks, and duckies fell out; their fall softly broken by a fluffy rainbow.
How was your day?